








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 685 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1619 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,990 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 627 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1395 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1263 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1705 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $939,304 of utility $251 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | LuckyDevil | 48% | 42 |
| #5 | Baljeet | 45% | 66 |
| #6 | ππ ππ‘π‘ππππ‘ππ§ | 44% | 16 |
| #7 | Quintaurin | 44% | 32 |
| #8 | _ogr_ | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaxAlbert | 5 | 0.0236 |
| #2 | Baljeet | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | LuckyDevil | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | εDaSINK | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | Quintaurin | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LuckyDevil | 187 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #2 | Baljeet | 102 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | Quintaurin | 22 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | MaxAlbert | 19 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | ππ ππ‘π‘ππππ‘ππ§ | 15 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MaxAlbert | +7.94 | 75 | 61 |
| #2 | ππ ππ‘π‘ππππ‘ππ§ | +3.59 | 84 | 53 |
| #3 | Enzo | +2.17 | 82 | 56 |
| #4 | εDaSINK | +0.71 | 69 | 34 |
| #5 | LuckyDevil | -0.46 | 64 | 61 |





