








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 251 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3919 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,046 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1033 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1660 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2030 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2323 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $759,622 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 321 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | Cheep Heep | 53% | 49 |
| #15 | LuckyDevil | 52% | 145 |
| #16 | Diabetesbruh | 50% | 36 |
| #17 | Mattes | 48% | 48 |
| #18 | Enzo | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | εDaSINK | 8 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | LuckyDevil | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | ChaosGeneral | 4 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | MaxAlbert | 4 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Quintaurin | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LuckyDevil | 687 | 0.23 | 17 min |
| #2 | Cheep Heep | 139 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | Diabetesbruh | 110 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | ChaosGeneral | 105 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Mattes | 85 | 0.08 | 2 min |





