










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1745 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,021 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2000 | 40% |
| Smokes | 996 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1482 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 543 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $766,565 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 733 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cn | 58% | 65 |
| #2 | haz | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | JoKeR | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | korkinavaaja | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | el sassquatch | 47% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | haz | 54% | 13 |
| #3 | JoKeR | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | korkinavaaja | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | el sassquatch | 47% | 43 |
| #6 | NEBBA | 45% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cn | 14 | 0.0112 |
| #2 | el sassquatch | 7 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | korkinavaaja | 5 | 0.0134 |
| #4 | NEBBA | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | haz | 2 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NEBBA | 245 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | cn | 172 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | el sassquatch | 133 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | korkinavaaja | 48 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | haz | 20 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | el sassquatch | +2.72 | 81 | 55 |
| #2 | cn | +1.46 | 76 | 52 |
| #3 | NEBBA | +0.57 | 51 | 57 |
| #4 | JoKeR | +0.35 | 27 | 51 |
| #5 | bgfqjnfhqw | -0.10 | 59 | 53 |





