








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 525 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 368 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4987 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,891 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5808 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4454 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3339 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4290 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,217,729 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 187 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Bart | 66% | 44 |
| #2 | Flare | 63% | 115 |
| #3 | Jlow | 60% | 72 |
| #4 | DiSeReCt | 58% | 36 |
| #5 | FSN | 57% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | SNK | 53% | 88 |
| #10 | Joonthom | 52% | 29 |
| #11 | peekske | 51% | 41 |
| #12 | Wala | 51% | 53 |
| #13 | McSlugs | 43% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jlow | 7 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Wala | 7 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | SNK | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Shinpaii | 5 | 0.0080 |
| #5 | Flare | 4 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flare | 614 | 0.23 | 15 min |
| #2 | ExisteNce010 | 432 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #3 | FSN | 415 | 0.26 | 11 min |
| #4 | SNK | 408 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #5 | Jlow | 223 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flare | +2.39 | 89 | 62 |
| #2 | DiSeReCt | +2.37 | 93 | 60 |
| #3 | ALOppAA | +2.08 | 80 | 67 |
| #4 | FSN | +1.62 | 88 | 70 |
| #5 | Jlow | +1.58 | 80 | 66 |





