










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 173 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2527 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,377 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3094 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1906 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1812 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1565 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $527,664 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 760 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gfn | 79% | 33 |
| #2 | snow | 78% | 40 |
| #3 | Klondike♛ | 77% | 13 |
| #4 | genka | 75% | 12 |
| #5 | Haz | 67% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | genka | 75% | 12 |
| #5 | Haz | 67% | 30 |
| #6 | Luxarr | 58% | 12 |
| #7 | LEL | 55% | 11 |
| #8 | koffer | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gfn | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Luxarr | 2 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | snow | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | LEL | 1 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snow | 88 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | Haz | 61 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | koffer | 46 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | Klondike♛ | 40 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | LEL | 40 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gfn | +4.24 | 86 | 49 |
| #2 | koffer | +2.32 | 92 | 71 |
| #3 | STF | +1.58 | 72 | 68 |
| #4 | LEL | +1.38 | 75 | 70 |
| #5 | Haz | +1.34 | 68 | 62 |





