








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 978 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 690 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6270 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,157 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6852 | 25% |
| Smokes | 7737 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6530 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 6038 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,152,619 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 352 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | 2Jurgen CLEANsman | 49% | 218 |
| #5 | Spressord | 48% | 312 |
| #6 | dweeb2 | 43% | 74 |
| #7 | lukasW | 43% | 96 |
| #8 | ^9Max | 43% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DerAdIer | 27 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | 2Jurgen CLEANsman | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | lukasW | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Spressord | 3 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | ^9Max | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DerAdIer | 1409 | 0.15 | 33 min |
| #2 | 2Jurgen CLEANsman | 970 | 0.20 | 22 min |
| #3 | Spressord | 751 | 0.11 | 19 min |
| #4 | dweeb2 | 207 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | Luca. | 195 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DerAdIer | +1.91 | 85 | 63 |
| #2 | Spressord | +0.25 | 79 | 62 |
| #3 | mirror | +0.01 | 65 | 67 |
| #4 | Luca. | -0.21 | 90 | 56 |
| #5 | dweeb2 | -0.55 | 59 | 63 |





