








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 120 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 191 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1891 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,156 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2740 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2963 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3078 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 2375 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $821,907 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 242 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TwoTapTony | 56% | 16 |
| #2 | OniPotence | 53% | 55 |
| #3 | versat1le | 51% | 43 |
| #4 | Monitor303 | 47% | 119 |
| #5 | Glitch | 45% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glitch | 7 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Monitor303 | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | versat1le | 5 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | OniPotence | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Synth | 1 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Monitor303 | 703 | 0.28 | 17 min |
| #2 | Glitch | 289 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | versat1le | 289 | 0.32 | 6 min |
| #4 | OniPotence | 137 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | TwoTapTony | 70 | 0.23 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glitch | +2.36 | 74 | 69 |
| #2 | versat1le | +1.60 | 72 | 52 |
| #3 | OniPotence | +1.29 | 80 | 53 |
| #4 | Taylor <3 | -0.31 | 56 | 63 |
| #5 | Zmada | -1.03 | 15 | 62 |





