








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 463 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 234 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2997 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,335 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7543 | 34% |
| Smokes | 5693 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5153 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3946 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $514,269 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 357 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | versat1le | 62% | 42 |
| #2 | TwoTapTony | 55% | 38 |
| #3 | Will | 50% | 22 |
| #4 | Customzz | 50% | 76 |
| #5 | Glitch | 50% | 232 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Will | 50% | 22 |
| #4 | Customzz | 50% | 76 |
| #5 | Glitch | 50% | 232 |
| #6 | OniPotence | 49% | 99 |
| #7 | Taylor <3 | 47% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glitch | 15 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Customzz | 11 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | OniPotence | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | versat1le | 4 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | Will | 4 | 0.0082 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glitch | 530 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #2 | Taylor <3 | 355 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | versat1le | 280 | 0.31 | 6 min |
| #4 | OniPotence | 255 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | Customzz | 187 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glitch | +1.75 | 72 | 67 |
| #2 | versat1le | +1.44 | 65 | 60 |
| #3 | OniPotence | +0.36 | 78 | 51 |
| #4 | Will | -0.43 | 74 | 32 |
| #5 | Monitor303 | -0.56 | 50 | 69 |





