








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 29 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September






The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 213 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4069 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,425 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2099 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1905 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2520 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1901 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $443,807 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 979 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Haitari | 73% | 85 |
| #9 | ˢᵘᵖᵃʷʰᶦᵗᵉ | 71% | 136 |
| #10 | ☭AkkaC | 69% | 83 |
| #11 | multitalent | 68% | 37 |
| #12 | ⭕⃤ 在家嗎Riisinkylväjä | 63% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ˢᵘᵖᵃʷʰᶦᵗᵉ | 508 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #2 | Stubanaattor | 288 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #3 | ☭AkkaC | 199 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | ⭕⃤ 在家嗎Riisinkylväjä | 125 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | multitalent | 75 | 0.10 | 2 min |





