










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 24 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 38 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
837 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,275 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 542 | 24% |
| Smokes | 587 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 478 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 668 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $110,877 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smooya | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | gob b | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | Donny Crane | 75% | 4 |
| #4 | se0rFPS | 75% | 4 |
| #5 | blameMVP | 75% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | TrilluXe | 67% | 6 |
| #9 | Segalson | 67% | 6 |
| #10 | KaiR0N- | 57% | 7 |
| #11 | freezexd-_- | 50% | 6 |
| #12 | red | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | se0rFPS | 1 | 0.0119 |
| #2 | Dathrix22 | 1 | 0.0119 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h4rn | 56 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #2 | freezexd-_- | 41 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| #3 | Segalson | 39 | 0.29 | 1 min |
| #4 | red | 29 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | Dathrix22 | 24 | 0.29 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dathrix22 | +4.37 | 84 | 75 |
| #2 | smooya | +3.75 | 93 | 62 |
| #3 | gob b | +2.26 | 97 | 81 |
| #4 | blameMVP | +1.93 | 93 | 79 |
| #5 | prosus | +1.60 | 92 | 65 |





