








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1033 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 545 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 62 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7161 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,514 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6043 | 21% |
| Smokes | 6056 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 10038 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 6377 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,485,213 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1048 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hANNEs | 69% | 48 |
| #2 | ParadoX on LSD | 56% | 72 |
| #3 | Bella | 53% | 161 |
| #4 | Segalson | 50% | 521 |
| #5 | DestroyBlader | 50% | 477 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Creatyx | 46% | 179 |
| #13 | DUNGI | 41% | 56 |
| #14 | Domme | 41% | 176 |
| #15 | marf :)))) | 39% | 64 |
| #16 | Ezcradin | 36% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Segalson | 29 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Röder | 25 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Berni | 13 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Bella | 12 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | DestroyBlader | 11 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Segalson | 2072 | 0.20 | 63 min |
| #2 | Röder | 847 | 0.12 | 22 min |
| #3 | DestroyBlader | 840 | 0.09 | 16 min |
| #4 | Bella | 580 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #5 | Bülent der Charmeur | 441 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hANNEs | +4.73 | 93 | 76 |
| #2 | Segalson | +1.17 | 83 | 75 |
| #3 | Bella | +0.90 | 80 | 69 |
| #4 | dyrL | +0.67 | 75 | 85 |
| #5 | Berni | +0.66 | 71 | 60 |





