








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
676 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,370 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 325 | 24% |
| Smokes | 227 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 498 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 320 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $102,528 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | a.k.a naknak | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | LillukkA | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | Pikkuporkkana | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | ゲイLightningWizard | 58% | 19 |
| #5 | Duky | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Apinan kurittaja | 7 | 0.0092 |
| #2 | riikka purra official | 5 | 0.0091 |
| #3 | ゲイLightningWizard | 4 | 0.0115 |
| #4 | bulk | 4 | 0.0119 |
| #5 | Artuux | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Samala macking kachow | 199 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #2 | Artuux | 108 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | bulk | 86 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #4 | riikka purra official | 66 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Apinan kurittaja | 29 | 0.04 | 0 min |





