








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 993 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 238 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 93 matches | ||
| Faceit | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7314 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,577 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6736 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5567 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5231 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 4043 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,323,051 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 962 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bulk | 26 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | sackling | 13 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | Apinan kurittaja | 11 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | a.k.a naknak | 9 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | ゲイLightningWizard | 8 | 0.0071 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Samala macking kachow | +2.45 | 63 | 63 |
| #2 | ゲイLightningWizard | +2.00 | 68 | 30 |
| #3 | a.k.a naknak | +0.21 | 63 | 62 |
| #4 | Artuux | -0.01 | 54 | 74 |
| #5 | bulk | -0.50 | 67 | 75 |





