








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 685 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Wingman | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4622 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,217 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3548 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2574 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3080 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3015 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,410,406 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1551 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Läderlappen | 458 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #2 | Scarlet Justice Supreme Avenger | 211 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | PotBoy | 195 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | Agent 9029 | 184 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | KieranBKBK | 168 | 0.05 | 4 min |





