








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 174 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
788 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,082 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 373 | 18% |
| Smokes | 456 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 611 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 642 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $332,788 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #20 | ΒеѓġеŕŞΛΝ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 30% | 10 |
| #21 | ✪ 李大為 | 29% | 7 |
| #22 | StoneX | 20% | 5 |
| #23 | ERdeStar | 20% | 5 |
| #24 | Stormraker | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dr_Fleischmann | 3 | 0.0078 |
| #2 | JoJo | 1 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | moehk | 1 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | ΒеѓġеŕŞΛΝ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 1 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | k3yto. | 1 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Squeezy | 92 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #2 | Pip | 74 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | ΒеѓġеŕŞΛΝ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 65 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| #4 | JoJo | 62 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | Telvozzzar | 49 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Towby | +5.71 | 78 | 64 |
| #2 | Spina | +5.55 | 75 | 55 |
| #3 | M0rrr1tz | +3.44 | 61 | 41 |
| #4 | ✪ 李大為 | +3.22 | 82 | 63 |
| #5 | StoneX | +2.92 | 87 | 70 |





