








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 155 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1210 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,652 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1006 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1180 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1249 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1217 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $487,123 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 370 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oceanVI | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | Lihaug | 65% | 17 |
| #3 | abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz123456 | 63% | 19 |
| #4 | Kry | 62% | 21 |
| #5 | s1mert | 62% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ SpeedeyG | 13 | 0.0116 |
| #2 | ✪Jaqueem | 5 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | gr4num | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Hyklar | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | zoobie | 2 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ SpeedeyG | 94 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #2 | Hyklar | 94 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #3 | gr4num | 70 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | zoobie | 67 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #5 | Lihaug | 45 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oceanVI | +5.65 | 81 | 76 |
| #2 | Lihaug | +2.66 | 69 | 68 |
| #3 | ✪Jaqueem | +2.63 | 84 | 53 |
| #4 | ✪ SpeedeyG | +1.30 | 73 | 63 |
| #5 | d3ny the dog | +1.18 | 69 | 63 |





