








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 601 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 546 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5148 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,346 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3887 | 25% |
| Smokes | 3699 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4300 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3460 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,357,874 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HolyMoly | 50% | 44 |
| #2 | Viggo2009 | 49% | 77 |
| #3 | COMMA | 49% | 268 |
| #4 | Certified Driving Forklift | 49% | 120 |
| #5 | :db: | 47% | 177 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Ryan Gravenberch | 46% | 201 |
| #10 | Cröppler | 45% | 142 |
| #11 | caileen | 43% | 99 |
| #12 | ShadowSigge09 | 43% | 148 |
| #13 | Pai | 42% | 158 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cröppler | 20 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | HeadshotHäxan | 17 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | Certified Driving Forklift | 11 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | ShadowSigge09 | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | COMMA | 6 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | COMMA | 726 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #2 | :db: | 581 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #3 | Ryan Gravenberch | 572 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #4 | Pai | 500 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #5 | Myst 雨 | 486 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | caileen | +2.69 | 81 | 58 |
| #2 | HeadshotHäxan | +1.43 | 88 | 49 |
| #3 | :db: | +1.30 | 76 | 58 |
| #4 | HolyMoly | +0.89 | 83 | 55 |
| #5 | Glase OwO | +0.81 | 67 | 56 |





