








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 485 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 223 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3242 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,254 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1576 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2727 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1725 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1226 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,523,389 of utility $219 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 279 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John CS | 59% | 29 |
| #2 | Fat Alwik | 54% | 28 |
| #3 | LEONARDO<3 | 52% | 21 |
| #4 | Certified Driving Forklift | 51% | 142 |
| #5 | TjackMessias | 50% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Cröppler | 47% | 179 |
| #10 | Ryan Gravenberch | 46% | 212 |
| #11 | vatodjyllto | 44% | 27 |
| #12 | MalluGuld | 42% | 26 |
| #13 | Mr Bigbelly | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cröppler | 44 | 0.0118 |
| #2 | Certified Driving Forklift | 15 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | ShadowSigge09 | 11 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | TjackMessias | 6 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | Ryan Gravenberch | 5 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ryan Gravenberch | 591 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #2 | ShadowSigge09 | 418 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | Sum Ting Wong | 384 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #4 | Cröppler | 193 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Certified Driving Forklift | 132 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HeadshotHäxan | +2.10 | 90 | 48 |
| #2 | ShadowSigge09 | +0.66 | 68 | 58 |
| #3 | Certified Driving Forklift | +0.46 | 52 | 49 |
| #4 | Ryan Gravenberch | -0.03 | 79 | 62 |
| #5 | Viggo2009 | -0.51 | 52 | 44 |





