








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 58 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2074 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,883 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1421 | 37% |
| Smokes | 888 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1358 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 216 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $412,653 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 191 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Perry Da PlaTtypus | 88% | 17 |
| #2 | Ive. | 77% | 22 |
| #3 | C0br4 | 75% | 24 |
| #4 | qb | 66% | 32 |
| #5 | UnoTwoTresFour | 62% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UnoTwoTresFour | 375 | 0.22 | 7 min |
| #2 | Boogeyman | 214 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | C0br4 | 207 | 0.41 | 5 min |
| #4 | qb | 113 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | Gary | 82 | 0.33 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C0br4 | +5.27 | 75 | 80 |
| #2 | shanze- | +3.92 | 94 | 35 |
| #3 | LightStrike | +3.07 | 68 | 49 |
| #4 | Perry Da PlaTtypus | +1.56 | 58 | 48 |
| #5 | synzera | +0.81 | 78 | 18 |





