










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 215 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2506 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,091 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2175 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2153 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1708 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1055 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $825,360 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 494 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SMOONEY- | 67% | 24 |
| #2 | DoC | 59% | 27 |
| #3 | BACKPACKOSAURUS | 55% | 22 |
| #4 | blushn | 55% | 22 |
| #5 | EZ-iwnl- | 54% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Ginzor | 53% | 19 |
| #8 | Repzy | 51% | 108 |
| #9 | NaCHO | 50% | 18 |
| #10 | Jihadi Jones | 49% | 75 |
| #11 | breeze | 49% | 86 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ted3D | 13 | 0.0076 |
| #2 | breeze | 11 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | Jihadi Jones | 8 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | Repzy | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | SMOONEY- | 6 | 0.0123 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ted3D | 402 | 0.23 | 12 min |
| #2 | breeze | 272 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | Repzy | 248 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | EZ-iwnl- | 195 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #5 | Jihadi Jones | 146 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SMOONEY- | +4.03 | 89 | 64 |
| #2 | ted3D | +3.51 | 82 | 76 |
| #3 | breeze | +1.89 | 77 | 59 |
| #4 | badibilder of tjernobil | +0.95 | 76 | 51 |
| #5 | NaCHO | +0.89 | 52 | 61 |





