










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1605 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 617 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




137 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9352 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,352 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9100 | 37% |
| Smokes | 5519 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 6164 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3569 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,839,931 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3722 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SMOONEY- | 56% | 225 |
| #2 | ptksndrb | 54% | 50 |
| #3 | ted3D | 54% | 299 |
| #4 | Dave | 53% | 180 |
| #5 | Ginzor | 53% | 148 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | DoC | 51% | 131 |
| #10 | stevey0 | 51% | 49 |
| #11 | badibilder of tjernobil | 49% | 86 |
| #12 | Jihadi Jones | 49% | 404 |
| #13 | rztnw | 48% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ted3D | 65 | 0.0107 |
| #2 | SMOONEY- | 54 | 0.0118 |
| #3 | Jihadi Jones | 39 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | Ginzor | 21 | 0.0074 |
| #5 | Dave | 16 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ted3D | 1381 | 0.23 | 43 min |
| #2 | EZ-iwnl- | 1161 | 0.19 | 36 min |
| #3 | SMOONEY- | 970 | 0.21 | 30 min |
| #4 | Jihadi Jones | 814 | 0.10 | 18 min |
| #5 | DoC | 397 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ted3D | +2.53 | 82 | 78 |
| #2 | breeze | +2.43 | 78 | 62 |
| #3 | SMOONEY- | +2.19 | 84 | 69 |
| #4 | Ginzor | +1.15 | 81 | 52 |
| #5 | ptksndrb | +0.74 | 79 | 69 |





