








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 181 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1063 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,503 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1570 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1268 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1393 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1272 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $53,558 of utility $27 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 778 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | finger | 58% | 67 |
| #2 | ZaERdna | 57% | 77 |
| #3 | jÄger | 53% | 60 |
| #4 | brate | 53% | 40 |
| #5 | Corzac | 48% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | finger | 58% | 67 |
| #2 | ZaERdna | 57% | 77 |
| #3 | jÄger | 53% | 60 |
| #4 | brate | 53% | 40 |
| #5 | Corzac | 48% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZaERdna | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | jÄger | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | brate | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | finger | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Corzac | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brate | 234 | 0.28 | 6 min |
| #2 | finger | 220 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | jÄger | 133 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | ZaERdna | 124 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Corzac | 78 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brate | +1.60 | 71 | 67 |
| #2 | -TRIFIXX | +1.27 | 64 | 69 |
| #3 | finger | +0.67 | 67 | 65 |
| #4 | ZaERdna | +0.50 | 74 | 59 |
| #5 | jÄger | -0.33 | 74 | 63 |





