








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 876 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 159 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 72 matches | ||
| Premier | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7394 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,901 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2216 | 19% |
| Smokes | 5094 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 2507 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2084 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,610,497 of utility $218 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 790 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KC1N | 98% | 42 |
| #2 | Carl | 82% | 33 |
| #3 | Bill Withers | 81% | 54 |
| #4 | lab | 80% | 46 |
| #5 | Jetz | 76% | 157 |





