








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 98 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
239 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 781 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 109 | 14% |
| Smokes | 185 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 307 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 180 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $61,925 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 432 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dawidowski50 | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | SkaņaTekila | 63% | 16 |
| #3 | Richi_ | 62% | 26 |
| #4 | szsmix | 58% | 19 |
| #5 | chealsa | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dawidowski50 | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | SkaņaTekila | 63% | 16 |
| #3 | Richi_ | 62% | 26 |
| #4 | szsmix | 58% | 19 |
| #5 | chealsa | 44% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SkaņaTekila | 7 | 0.0223 |
| #2 | Richi_ | 6 | 0.0111 |
| #3 | chealsa | 3 | 0.0090 |
| #4 | Dawidowski50 | 2 | 0.0435 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | szsmix | 63 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #2 | chealsa | 52 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | Richi_ | 30 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | SkaņaTekila | 12 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dawidowski50 | +1.74 | 49 | 25 |
| #2 | szsmix | +1.47 | 75 | 64 |
| #3 | SkaņaTekila | +0.77 | 81 | 45 |
| #4 | Richi_ | +0.38 | 41 | 65 |
| #5 | cat | +0.37 | 66 | 46 |





