








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 735 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 183 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6558 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,167 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3544 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3241 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 4693 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5689 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,015,920 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 72 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JusT A FaILuRe | 16 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | PioruN | 6 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | Szasta | 5 | 0.0085 |
| #4 | Rafal2 {NK} | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Hubon | 3 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rafal2 {NK} | 362 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #2 | Saddychanka :3 | 199 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | JusT A FaILuRe | 135 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | VIRUS15 | 124 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | PioruN | 109 | 0.11 | 2 min |





