








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 497 matches | ||
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7641 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,745 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8579 | 46% |
| Smokes | 7040 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 657 | 4% |
| Molotovs | 2469 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,573,146 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 216 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lethal | 69% | 87 |
| #2 | Eggi | 65% | 48 |
| #3 | Hardtimex | 53% | 47 |
| #4 | ♛ §UM †ING W◑NG ツ | 52% | 81 |
| #5 | Tekwil | 49% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lethal | 69% | 87 |
| #2 | Eggi | 65% | 48 |
| #3 | Hardtimex | 53% | 47 |
| #4 | ♛ §UM †ING W◑NG ツ | 52% | 81 |
| #5 | Tekwil | 49% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛ §UM †ING W◑NG ツ | 7 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Lethal | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Eggi | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Tekwil | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eggi | 314 | 0.30 | 8 min |
| #2 | ♛ §UM †ING W◑NG ツ | 227 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | Tekwil | 70 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Hardtimex | 60 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Lethal | 59 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lethal | +4.10 | 97 | 34 |
| #2 | Hardtimex | +2.30 | 56 | 71 |
| #3 | Eggi | +2.10 | 84 | 67 |
| #4 | MarbleT | +0.79 | 52 | 58 |
| #5 | Tekwil | +0.45 | 52 | 42 |





