








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 641 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 300 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 157 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 144 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4917 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,224 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7131 | 22% |
| Smokes | 7981 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 9697 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 7415 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,427,664 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 902 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MinimaL | 66% | 41 |
| #2 | CstarBizeps | 61% | 44 |
| #3 | fln | 58% | 36 |
| #4 | pxl | 56% | 295 |
| #5 | Just 3lb0! | 53% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pxl | 11 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | jK | 10 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | cockrox | 8 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | freeze | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | ioVaNnnn | 4 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cockrox | 1424 | 0.22 | 31 min |
| #2 | pxl | 1390 | 0.24 | 40 min |
| #3 | freeze | 594 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #4 | jK | 491 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #5 | kATERHARRRD! | 256 | 0.22 | 6 min |





