








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1439 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 650 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 448 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 146 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 93 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14315 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 68,336 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 21721 | 32% |
| Smokes | 19969 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 10353 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 16293 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,386,194 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2483 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CstarBizeps | 58% | 120 |
| #2 | pxl | 57% | 527 |
| #3 | p1mple | 50% | 92 |
| #4 | Just 3lb0! | 50% | 120 |
| #5 | freeze | 50% | 226 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Just 3lb0! | 50% | 120 |
| #5 | freeze | 50% | 226 |
| #6 | LueKeN^ | 48% | 328 |
| #7 | jK | 47% | 526 |
| #8 | sno | 46% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jK | 45 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | LueKeN^ | 27 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | pxl | 26 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Just 3lb0! | 12 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | freeze | 5 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pxl | 2513 | 0.24 | 68 min |
| #2 | jK | 1628 | 0.16 | 38 min |
| #3 | LueKeN^ | 909 | 0.14 | 22 min |
| #4 | freeze | 898 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #5 | sno | 408 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pxl | +6.75 | 90 | 87 |
| #2 | jK | +1.26 | 66 | 67 |
| #3 | sno | +0.80 | 71 | 77 |
| #4 | freeze | +0.71 | 71 | 65 |
| #5 | p1mple | -0.23 | 77 | 67 |





