








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 334 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1442 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,631 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2072 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1646 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1208 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1705 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $493,344 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 107 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Polako | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | C8 | 57% | 54 |
| #3 | iscø | 54% | 37 |
| #4 | Kalaninhas | 53% | 36 |
| #5 | nat1 | 46% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Netooh ツ | 5 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | nat1 | 4 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Galoh | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | jessz | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | iscø | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jessz | 457 | 0.24 | 11 min |
| #2 | Netooh ツ | 318 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #3 | Galoh | 212 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | C8 | 115 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | iscø | 106 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kalaninhas | +3.05 | 79 | 36 |
| #2 | iscø | +1.84 | 64 | 68 |
| #3 | Netooh ツ | +1.15 | 82 | 55 |
| #4 | C8 | +0.85 | 69 | 72 |
| #5 | mooN | +0.64 | 76 | 63 |





