








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 122 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 91 matches | ||
| Premier | 47 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1419 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,011 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1567 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1729 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1243 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1472 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $569,301 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | justice | 58% | 86 |
| #6 | Pandah | 55% | 11 |
| #7 | phaqs | 52% | 150 |
| #8 | Pozeidonnn | 48% | 31 |
| #9 | Yorq | 33% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | plat | 8 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | phaqs | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | justice | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Yorq | 2 | 0.0112 |
| #5 | Pandah | 1 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phaqs | 686 | 0.22 | 18 min |
| #2 | plat | 434 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #3 | justice | 292 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | Viper-_- | 260 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #5 | Pozeidonnn | 205 | 0.34 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | plat | +1.54 | 80 | 67 |
| #2 | unc | +1.16 | 67 | 44 |
| #3 | justice | +0.93 | 73 | 66 |
| #4 | Ausick | +0.03 | 77 | 57 |
| #5 | phaqs | -0.22 | 59 | 70 |





