








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 418 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2542 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,098 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2497 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2431 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1835 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2335 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $530,082 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 212 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slime | 82% | 22 |
| #2 | jdN-v- | 75% | 12 |
| #3 | Pozeidonnn | 72% | 18 |
| #4 | Kiko | 71% | 17 |
| #5 | ruhze | 69% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phaqs | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | justice | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | man i love fishing | 6 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Ausick | 5 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Slime | 5 | 0.0127 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phaqs | 575 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #2 | justice | 451 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #3 | Ausick | 356 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #4 | Viper-_- | 256 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #5 | man i love fishing | 230 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | plat | +2.89 | 81 | 68 |
| #2 | man i love fishing | +2.63 | 78 | 68 |
| #3 | unc | +1.85 | 58 | 53 |
| #4 | justice | +1.61 | 74 | 67 |
| #5 | phaqs | +0.30 | 59 | 71 |





