








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 165 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4043 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,751 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3766 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3495 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1561 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 2929 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $693,127 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 162 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | man i love fishing | 76% | 17 |
| #2 | plat | 62% | 50 |
| #3 | phaqs | 61% | 51 |
| #4 | justice | 60% | 63 |
| #5 | Ausick | 59% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TopTierMom | 20 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | justice | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Ausick | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | plat | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | jake snow | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phaqs | 261 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #2 | justice | 227 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | Ausick | 227 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #4 | plat | 206 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #5 | TopTierMom | 105 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Viper-_- | +6.52 | 87 | 67 |
| #2 | man i love fishing | +5.76 | 74 | 73 |
| #3 | plat | +1.66 | 80 | 68 |
| #4 | justice | +0.94 | 74 | 64 |
| #5 | Ausick | +0.68 | 80 | 59 |





