








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 87 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 60 matches | ||
| Wingman | 41 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1910 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,096 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1412 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1121 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1086 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1477 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $398,989 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 180 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Basick | 68% | 25 |
| #2 | mallow.- | 65% | 46 |
| #3 | friDaN- | 64% | 25 |
| #4 | Kurako | 63% | 19 |
| #5 | Mr.Breaktime | 59% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | friDaN- | 3 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | mallow.- | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Mr.Breaktime | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Basick | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Kurako | 1 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sn1ckerSeba | 173 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #2 | friDaN- | 108 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #3 | Mr.Breaktime | 105 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | Basick | 105 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #5 | mallow.- | 90 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Basick | +3.39 | 82 | 75 |
| #2 | m1sterd | +2.88 | 93 | 56 |
| #3 | mallow.- | +1.89 | 88 | 63 |
| #4 | Mr.Breaktime | +0.80 | 92 | 67 |
| #5 | friDaN- | +0.53 | 80 | 63 |





