








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 65 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 63 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Esplay | 1 match | 2,038 | |
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
804 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,578 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1043 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1047 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 621 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 867 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $168,415 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DubG | 100% | 5 |
| #2 | beje | 73% | 30 |
| #3 | seBb | 70% | 20 |
| #4 | Suhbrajndude | 67% | 6 |
| #5 | polle | 67% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | seBb | 3 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | beje | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | kevinu | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | kimpaflint | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | seBb | +2.12 | 67 | 69 |
| #2 | polle | +1.97 | 93 | 67 |
| #3 | Morvii | +1.07 | 78 | 70 |
| #4 | DubG | +0.83 | 66 | 64 |
| #5 | beje | +0.54 | 83 | 62 |





