










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 123 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 64 matches | ||
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3847 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,127 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2507 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2948 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2970 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3702 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,564,352 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 285 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Dank | 47% | 441 |
| #8 | Slove | 46% | 366 |
| #9 | twitch.tv/nahaoki | 43% | 46 |
| #10 | justhoohaa | 43% | 37 |
| #11 | erk | 33% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slove | 2063 | 0.28 | 64 min |
| #2 | Dank | 1361 | 0.15 | 34 min |
| #3 | SlightlyDaniel | 908 | 0.14 | 26 min |
| #4 | Dnillo | 649 | 0.30 | 20 min |
| #5 | twitch.tv/nahaoki | 162 | 0.17 | 3 min |





