








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 214 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 178 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2595 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,306 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1080 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1895 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1999 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1332 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $668,513 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | santan zen | 59% | 110 |
| #2 | madman | 57% | 187 |
| #3 | ❂FANCYSThirteen | 56% | 133 |
| #4 | 0+0=0 | 55% | 58 |
| #5 | Clitten Mittens | 53% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ❂FANCYSThirteen | 56% | 133 |
| #4 | 0+0=0 | 55% | 58 |
| #5 | Clitten Mittens | 53% | 122 |
| #6 | bobr | 53% | 34 |
| #7 | Pistol Pete | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 0+0=0 | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | madman | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Clitten Mittens | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | santan zen | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | ❂FANCYSThirteen | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | madman | 275 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #2 | 0+0=0 | 206 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | ❂FANCYSThirteen | 199 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | santan zen | 173 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | Clitten Mittens | 98 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Enjoy | +1.98 | 79 | 63 |
| #2 | 0+0=0 | +1.38 | 53 | 64 |
| #3 | bobr | +1.08 | 68 | 58 |
| #4 | santan zen | +0.23 | 69 | 64 |
| #5 | madman | -0.38 | 64 | 58 |





