








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 423 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 388 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4347 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,550 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5304 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4308 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3007 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2931 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,262,075 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1458 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | •pürp1εhazε• | 75% | 28 |
| #2 | Enjoy | 59% | 32 |
| #3 | Enjoy | 56% | 59 |
| #4 | Enjoy | 55% | 58 |
| #5 | madman | 48% | 229 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Clitten Mittens | 43% | 126 |
| #12 | PuSH | 41% | 32 |
| #13 | shoez! | 39% | 36 |
| #14 | Bowlcutz | 36% | 28 |
| #15 | Domination! | 32% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clitten Mittens | 11 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | madman | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | ❂FANCYSThirteen | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Enjoy | 6 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | santan zen | 4 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | madman | 363 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #2 | santan zen | 238 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | ❂FANCYSThirteen | 194 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | im not toxic | 145 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | PuSH | 135 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | •pürp1εhazε• | +2.80 | 78 | 63 |
| #2 | Enjoy | +2.72 | 79 | 59 |
| #3 | Enjoy | +2.30 | 80 | 70 |
| #4 | Enjoy | +1.64 | 78 | 61 |
| #5 | Domination! | +1.25 | 74 | 59 |





