








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 634 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 530 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4395 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,309 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3717 | 21% |
| Smokes | 3645 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 5479 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4468 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,473,685 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 128 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Enjoy | 50% | 119 |
| #7 | Pistol Pete | 48% | 56 |
| #8 | madman | 48% | 483 |
| #9 | 0+0=0 | 47% | 123 |
| #10 | Clitten Mittens | 45% | 289 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clitten Mittens | 25 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | madman | 15 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | ❂FANCYSThirteen | 14 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | 0+0=0 | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | bobr | 6 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | madman | 791 | 0.08 | 24 min |
| #2 | 0+0=0 | 454 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #3 | ❂FANCYSThirteen | 440 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| #4 | Clitten Mittens | 214 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #5 | Enjoy | 205 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Enjoy | +2.75 | 83 | 61 |
| #2 | Enjoy | +2.22 | 79 | 68 |
| #3 | Enjoy | +1.46 | 79 | 64 |
| #4 | bobr | +1.28 | 68 | 54 |
| #5 | 0+0=0 | +0.61 | 46 | 68 |





