








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 231 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 183 matches | ||
| Faceit | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3578 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,277 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3757 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4458 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2034 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 4028 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,272,489 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 224 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪M1KESI | 77% | 39 |
| #2 | horizon | 74% | 53 |
| #3 | pasty | 72% | 46 |
| #4 | wailfy | 69% | 42 |
| #5 | Que Ota | 62% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Jewbacca | 59% | 165 |
| #8 | Solenya | 59% | 63 |
| #9 | belle delphine | 53% | 34 |
| #10 | Deano 阴茎 | 48% | 40 |
| #11 | Krynex | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jewbacca | 11 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | pasty | 5 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | Mlanky | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Deano 阴茎 | 4 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | Solenya | 3 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mlanky | 391 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #2 | Jewbacca | 253 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | Solenya | 113 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | horizon | 112 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Deano 阴茎 | 99 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jewbacca | +2.68 | 78 | 55 |
| #2 | wailfy | +2.28 | 86 | 54 |
| #3 | horizon | +1.87 | 74 | 81 |
| #4 | Solenya | +1.25 | 91 | 64 |
| #5 | ARS | +1.06 | 70 | 62 |





