








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 98 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1353 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,543 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 941 | 27% |
| Smokes | 871 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 909 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 822 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $546,687 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 317 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B O A T | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | Myyrmäen kapteeni | 59% | 71 |
| #3 | Hugh Janus | 59% | 44 |
| #4 | miksej | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | tH- | 53% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Myyrmäen kapteeni | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | tH- | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | miksej | 4 | 0.0268 |
| #4 | bajskorv | 3 | 0.0076 |
| #5 | Sopen | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sopen | 675 | 0.41 | 22 min |
| #2 | tH- | 211 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | Myyrmäen kapteeni | 144 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | Hugh Janus | 116 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | miksej | 41 | 0.28 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sopen | +2.49 | 75 | 82 |
| #2 | miksej | +1.87 | 75 | 63 |
| #3 | bajskorv | +1.44 | 88 | 49 |
| #4 | Ville | +0.87 | 76 | 57 |
| #5 | tH- | +0.34 | 56 | 57 |





