








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 126 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 83 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1428 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,597 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1110 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1160 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2405 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1922 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $769,232 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 310 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coffee | 63% | 43 |
| #2 | HaZeExE | 61% | 23 |
| #3 | Stabby crab | 53% | 73 |
| #4 | Chris Hansen♿ | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | MegaGamer420 | 48% | 226 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MegaGamer420 | 52 | 0.0116 |
| #2 | Tea | 30 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | Stabby crab | 8 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | FISH♿ | 8 | 0.0295 |
| #5 | FaZe Up | 7 | 0.0183 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MegaGamer420 | 309 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | Zero | 229 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | Stabby crab | 156 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | Tea | 130 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #5 | Coffee | 117 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chris Hansen♿ | +4.91 | 63 | 62 |
| #2 | Stabby crab | +3.74 | 73 | 67 |
| #3 | FaZe Up | +2.54 | 62 | 54 |
| #4 | FISH♿ | +2.33 | 63 | 62 |
| #5 | Zero | +2.11 | 61 | 68 |





