








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 555 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 522 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 316 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




154 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6795 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,398 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4067 | 19% |
| Smokes | 5808 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6495 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 5028 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,285,500 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 847 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FaZe Up | 56% | 66 |
| #2 | Coffee | 53% | 170 |
| #3 | HaZeExE | 51% | 92 |
| #4 | Zero | 50% | 205 |
| #5 | Tea | 49% | 605 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tea | 103 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | Reece | 44 | 0.0098 |
| #3 | Stabby crab | 32 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | FISH♿ | 17 | 0.0111 |
| #5 | HaZeExE | 16 | 0.0080 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stabby crab | 611 | 0.11 | 20 min |
| #2 | Zero | 561 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #3 | Tea | 497 | 0.04 | 15 min |
| #4 | Hindsight | 436 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #5 | Reece | 371 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FaZe Up | +2.42 | 64 | 64 |
| #2 | FISH♿ | +2.21 | 67 | 58 |
| #3 | HaZeExE | +2.19 | 69 | 70 |
| #4 | Zero | +2.07 | 62 | 68 |
| #5 | Stabby crab | +1.56 | 65 | 64 |





