










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
344 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 404 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 80 | 20% |
| Smokes | 40 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 125 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 159 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $59,165 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mutthew | 38% | 26 |
| #2 | Ernie | 38% | 21 |
| #3 | pp | 34% | 53 |
| #4 | Thatboirolo | 22% | 9 |
| #5 | Loser | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | pp | 34% | 53 |
| #4 | Thatboirolo | 22% | 9 |
| #5 | Loser | 17% | 6 |
| #6 | jrubin | 14% | 14 |
| #7 | DamnDaniel04 | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pp | 4 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Ernie | 3 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | Loser | 2 | 0.0163 |
| #4 | Mutthew | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Thatboirolo | 1 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pp | 71 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | Mutthew | 62 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | Loser | 22 | 0.18 | 0 min |
| #4 | Thatboirolo | 12 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | DamnDaniel04 | 10 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thatboirolo | +4.10 | 82 | 60 |
| #2 | Loser | +2.70 | 65 | 48 |
| #3 | Maxijuana | +0.92 | 26 | 20 |
| #4 | pp | -0.52 | 55 | 37 |
| #5 | DamnDaniel04 | -1.47 | 69 | 59 |





