








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 115 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 154 matches | ||
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3579 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,791 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1987 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2999 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 1440 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 365 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $171,264 of utility $18 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 392 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Harold | 60% | 68 |
| #2 | | 54% | 28 |
| #3 | Loser | 50% | 119 |
| #4 | kawnner | 48% | 54 |
| #5 | jrubin | 48% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | jrubin | 48% | 73 |
| #6 | Ernie | 42% | 208 |
| #7 | Mutthew | 39% | 87 |
| #8 | Maxijuana | 34% | 53 |
| #9 | Thatboirolo | 34% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thatboirolo | 28 | 0.0196 |
| #2 | Mutthew | 18 | 0.0108 |
| #3 | kawnner | 15 | 0.0141 |
| #4 | | 14 | 0.0256 |
| #5 | Ernie | 13 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loser | 551 | 0.24 | 13 min |
| #2 | Mutthew | 224 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Ernie | 170 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | | 109 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | jrubin | 102 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loser | +3.62 | 69 | 45 |
| #2 | | +3.30 | 65 | 35 |
| #3 | kawnner | +3.11 | 58 | 44 |
| #4 | Thatboirolo | +1.52 | 72 | 57 |
| #5 | Maxijuana | +1.00 | 27 | 20 |





