








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 31 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1154 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,099 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 577 | 27% |
| Smokes | 496 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 646 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 380 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $282,961 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 93 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Harold | 64% | 25 |
| #2 | Loser | 52% | 33 |
| #3 | jrubin | 42% | 31 |
| #4 | pp | 42% | 208 |
| #5 | Maxijuana | 38% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | jrubin | 42% | 31 |
| #4 | pp | 42% | 208 |
| #5 | Maxijuana | 38% | 21 |
| #6 | Mutthew | 30% | 43 |
| #7 | Thatboirolo | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pp | 28 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | Mutthew | 11 | 0.0136 |
| #3 | Thatboirolo | 5 | 0.0154 |
| #4 | Maxijuana | 4 | 0.0105 |
| #5 | Loser | 2 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pp | 330 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #2 | Loser | 146 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #3 | Mutthew | 139 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | jrubin | 27 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Harold | 25 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loser | +6.03 | 74 | 40 |
| #2 | Maxijuana | +2.05 | 31 | 11 |
| #3 | Harold | +1.67 | 52 | 24 |
| #4 | jrubin | +1.52 | 61 | 22 |
| #5 | Thatboirolo | +1.40 | 74 | 56 |





