








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
421 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,909 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 548 | 19% |
| Smokes | 979 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 336 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1046 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $111,726 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Benihime | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | rattleheadDaLAZERR | 58% | 50 |
| #3 | Kapitan | 52% | 109 |
| #4 | Please Ban Lag | 52% | 48 |
| #5 | Echidna | 48% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kapitan | 7 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | rattleheadDaLAZERR | 5 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | Please Ban Lag | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Benihime | 3 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | Echidna | 2 | 2.0000 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kapitan | +6.89 | 80 | 65 |
| #2 | Please Ban Lag | +4.72 | 79 | 69 |
| #3 | Benihime | +2.82 | 82 | 47 |
| #4 | rattleheadDaLAZERR | +2.22 | 66 | 52 |
| #5 | Echidna | +1.76 | 76 | 62 |





