










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 192 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
374 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 785 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 106 | 14% |
| Smokes | 51 | 6% |
| HE Grenades | 306 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 322 | 41% |
Our logs show you have wasted $174,535 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 14 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Benihime | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | ProRoller | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | rattleheadDaLAZERR | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | Kapitan | 46% | 28 |
| #5 | Please Ban Lag | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ProRoller | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | rattleheadDaLAZERR | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | Kapitan | 46% | 28 |
| #5 | Please Ban Lag | 40% | 5 |
| #6 | DeadMan | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ProRoller | 3 | 0.0210 |
| #2 | Kapitan | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | rattleheadDaLAZERR | 1 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Please Ban Lag | 1 | 0.0109 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kapitan | 147 | 0.27 | 3 min |
| #2 | rattleheadDaLAZERR | 23 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| #3 | ProRoller | 23 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | Please Ban Lag | 15 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| #5 | Benihime | 14 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rattleheadDaLAZERR | +6.90 | 76 | 43 |
| #2 | Kapitan | +5.25 | 78 | 62 |
| #3 | Benihime | +5.00 | 97 | 66 |
| #4 | Please Ban Lag | +1.31 | 76 | 72 |
| #5 | ProRoller | -0.27 | 18 | 42 |





