








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 355 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 98 matches | ||
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6252 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,061 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8146 | 37% |
| Smokes | 5539 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3564 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 4812 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,035,310 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 334 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rattleheadDaLAZERR | 15 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | Please Ban Lag | 9 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Benihime | 9 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | DeadMan | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Echidna | 4 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kapitan | +3.75 | 78 | 61 |
| #2 | Please Ban Lag | +3.28 | 81 | 67 |
| #3 | Benihime | +0.92 | 84 | 54 |
| #4 | rattleheadDaLAZERR | +0.77 | 71 | 55 |
| #5 | Echidna | -0.59 | 66 | 60 |





