








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1100 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Faceit | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8951 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,394 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6783 | 35% |
| Smokes | 6070 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1782 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 4759 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,992,523 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 237 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pooper | 67% | 234 |
| #2 | MurkScribe | 66% | 38 |
| #3 | latent | 60% | 210 |
| #4 | yari | 59% | 249 |
| #5 | Tori ʚ♡ɞ | 56% | 161 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | yari | 59% | 249 |
| #5 | Tori ʚ♡ɞ | 56% | 161 |
| #6 | Choota | 56% | 54 |
| #7 | Blizzard | 54% | 48 |
| #8 | LonR.gg bR3NN3N | 52% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pooper | 25 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | latent | 10 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Tori ʚ♡ɞ | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | yari | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | LonR.gg bR3NN3N | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | latent | 1584 | 0.36 | 42 min |
| #2 | yari | 1521 | 0.30 | 38 min |
| #3 | pooper | 981 | 0.21 | 26 min |
| #4 | Tori ʚ♡ɞ | 416 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #5 | Blizzard | 276 | 0.27 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | real | +4.34 | 80 | 66 |
| #2 | Blizzard | +1.09 | 60 | 67 |
| #3 | latent | +0.37 | 58 | 73 |
| #4 | LonR.gg bR3NN3N | -0.49 | 76 | 48 |
| #5 | Tori ʚ♡ɞ | -0.81 | 57 | 68 |





