








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 314 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Wingman | 51 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2250 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,345 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1465 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2316 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1248 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1316 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $870,148 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 386 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Derr1ck | 49% | 150 |
| #7 | Tori ʚ♡ɞ | 47% | 53 |
| #8 | GxdFury | 47% | 43 |
| #9 | yari | 46% | 54 |
| #10 | Franz | 44% | 120 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | real | 279 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | yari | 275 | 0.25 | 7 min |
| #3 | Derr1ck | 208 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | Blizzard | 201 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #5 | latent | 188 | 0.34 | 5 min |





